I was looking through my email today, and there are a few that I would like to share with you all:

The first one is from my HIS 356P (The US in the Civil Rights Era) class. We were assigned a five-page essay over either the 1968 Olympics or a comparison between Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcolm X. It was the Sunday before the deadline when I received this:

Did Prof. Greene ever give us a prompt for either paper? If so can someone send it to me/give the jist of it to me? If not does she just expect us to write a 5 page essay about Malcom X and Martin Luther King or what? If you get this and you know anything about it pleeeeease write me back.

I got two words for you, buddy: You’re dead meat!

The first two days of school came with two miracles: It was canceled and it snowed in Austin! Apparently, someone missed the first day of actual school:

hey everybody,
i missed our last class (first class – intro to psych) after the ice storm – i was trying to keep my igloo from melting. could any of you drop me a line to just give me a heads up on what we went over, what’s our textbook, where to find our syllabus, etc.? i would REALLY appreciate it and will totally pay you back! thanks!

Sir, that has got to be the dumbest excuse I have heard — are you saying that you can build an igloo with a tiny bit of snow? I don’t think so! No help for you!